A Night for Jaiden Thank You

I will be posting some photos from this evening on both this blog and www.ribbonsforjaiden.org
In the meantime, I wanted to post a copy of the Thank You that I read at the event.

The entire evening was truly an incredible tribute to Jaiden and the Jaiden Lyndi Tlapa Foundation. We are planning a golf tournament on September 22, 2008 at Candia Woods Golf Course. This date is special because it is Jaiden's 9th birthday. More details will be posted on www.ribbonsforjaiden.org later next month. Thanks again for you love and support, here is the speech:

Jaiden Lyndi Tlapa was a remarkable young girl. She would truly be honored to know all that her community has done for her since that fateful day in December. Many people tell us that they don’t think they could deal with what we are going through. The truth is; that without the love, prayers and support of you all; Paul and I might not have survived ourselves. You will never know how much your kind words, generous gestures, personal notes and anonymous letters of encouragement have impacted us.

I liken the events of the past 3 months to being caught in an unforeseen tsunami. There we were, walking happily along the beach, collecting sea glass, a favorite activity of Jaiden. The tide was out and the sun was just rising. It was a glorious day with no worries, only anticipation of what was to come. We were mesmerized with the beauty of the endless shore. The blue water was crystal clear and so far out that we were walking among the starfish in the cool brown sand.

While we were living that moment, basking in the warmth of the rising sun and enjoying the gentle summer breeze, we never thought it might end. In our sublime happiness, we did not realize it become eerily quite or see the ocean water continue to recede. We felt so safe and secure in the tranquility of the moment, we never contemplated it could disappear forever.
The tidal wave arrived unannounced and unexpectedly, from nowhere. As it slammed down upon us, we were swept into the turbulent current, gasping for air. In one split second our lives were changed forever.

So when you think about how remarkable it is to see us here, still living & breathing & going on, know that what we are doing is called SURVIVAL. We look to our living children, family and friends; & know that we must survive, there is no other option. Today we get out of bed each day because we have to, not because we want to. Tomorrow we may feel happiness again; but for now we live moment to moment.

We are told that the pain will become worse before it will get better and that year 2 is the most difficult. I know that as each milestone is passed, the reality of our loss becomes more apparent. Valentines Day, the first day of spring, the public memorial service, this special Night for Jaiden. But we are also beginning to heal in small ways, & starting to contemplate how Jaiden would want us to move forward. The foundation will be her legacy. She will continue to touch others & positively impact so many lives in the years to come.

To each of you here this evening, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. To the volunteers who organized this amazing night- we will be forever grateful. So many local businesses, organizations and individuals have donated their time, energy and financial contributions to insure this evening was a success. Jaiden would be so proud. Thank you especially to the Rick and Laurie Holder, Wendy Freidman, Kathy Carson, Kim Calden, Karen Cagney, Terry and Michael Negretti, Jackie Merril, Geralyn Ciardelli, Theresa Waller, Hallee Johnson, Trisha Shea, Carol & Charlie Maloney, Shane Hooker, Michelle Griggs, Wendy Bauerschmidt, Amanda Clark, Alexeigh, Beth Cauley, Heidi Theriault, Kelly LaCass, Jacqueline Nauyokas, the Milford School District, Joe Daddario, The Copy Shop & the staff at Hampshire Hills; and each of you here tonight.

As you bid this evening on the silent auction items & buy raffle tickets for the beautiful baskets, know that your donations will one day help another family in need. Perhaps it will be a neighbor, a friend, or even a stranger. Tragedy comes so unexpectedly, the only way to truly survive it is to ban together, as our entire community has done.

We live in an imperfect world beseeched with risk and random events. Be thankful for what you have this very moment. Hold your spouse a bit tighter on the dance floor, laugh with a friend you have not seen in a while, remember to peek in on your sleeping children when you go home tonight and to treasure them.

Take a look around right now to see how much people care. We are all here tonight because a tragic accident claimed the life of beautiful Jaiden Lyndi Tlapa. But her story does not end here, it just begins.
Because of people like you, Jaiden will live on. The Foundation is something that she might have started on her accord. Because she was chosen to be with God, and guide us as an angel above, we must continue her earthly work for her; in her name.

Words cannot properly express our deep gratitude and respect for you all. The Jaiden Lyndi Tlapa Foundation is not just based on Jaiden’s philosophy; it is based on each of yours. Thank you again for your love, prayers, kindness and courage. Your continued patience and support will enable us to move on. At a future date, the tables may turn and it will be our opportunity to support and encourage you. Our sincere hope is that no-one in this room will ever be indoctrinated into this club that no one wants to join. But know that if you are, we will be there for you. In closing, I’d like to read a short poem about this organization:

I have recently joined the most exclusive club.
I don’t belong here; I did not choose to sign up.
The membership fee was exorbitant: a price no one should pay.
It was the life of my child.

Bereaved parents are what outsiders call us.
There is no single word in the English language to describe us.
Not widow, widower or orphan.
No title can convey the magnitude of our loss.

The day I joined this club, my heart was shattered
Into a million little pieces.
Try as I may to gather them up again,
I cannot seem to find them all…

A part of me is missing.
The rest of me is irrevocably damaged.
I won’t ever be the person you used to know.
The moment my child departed is the defining line
Between BEFORE and AFTER.

I survive because I have to;
To care for those who were left behind.
My grief will never cease to exist;
It will simply become more manageable.

I won’t ask you to understand.
I only ask you to be patient with me.
Unless you are a fellow member,
You will never know the scope of my anguish.

If my eyes tear when you mention my child,
Don’t think that means I don’t want to hear her name.
I cry because she died;
NOT because you talk about her.
I need to know that she is not forgotten.
I have to know that her life made a difference.
I long to share my memories of her with you.
I wait with baited breath for you to speak her name.
I want you to remember that my child did live.

~The Tlapa Family